Heart

I've been slack blogger lately. Mostly because I've had an awesome time setting up the Two Vegan Girls site with my dear friend, Vik. It's pretty awesome, I am excited about it and where it might go. We've also been busy writing and coupled with school holidays and the usual stuff, life's been a bit busier.

So, time to shift focus again. To be strong. To try and hang in there. Forget the heart and lead with the head for a bit. Concentrate on 2VG, on uni starting in a month or so, and on meeting new people and stepping out of my comfort zone more often. I feel like I am on the verge of a major life shift. I can choose to go with it, fear and all and see what wonder it brings, or I can stay safe in my familiar though stunted current life. I know which I have to choose, I hope I can find the courage and motivation to embrace it.

It'll be okay.

Farewell 2012

It seems like only yesterday I was reflecting on 2011. This year has gone super fast. It was a busy one, that's for sure.

I've lost another 27 kilograms (60 pounds) this year, a total of 40kg (88p) since my surgery. It feels amazing. I still have a belly I need to lose which will take exercise. Exercise is still my nemesis, and a psychological block exists there that needs to be broken down. Still, I've lost an entire Finn, so to give him a piggy back and realise I used to carry that all day everyday is a pretty awesome comparison. My body is under so much less stress now and there is no question I have prolonged my life by doing this. It makes it easier when food gives me grief or I am having a rough eating day.

This time 12 months ago I had long hair, 1 tattoo, no piercings other than my ears, and I weighed 27kg more. Now I have shorter hair, 2 tattoos and a nose piercing, and am lighter. I feel every day I become truer to who I am and how I express that. It's an amazing feeling.

In 2012 I worked bloody hard at self esteem and self worth. Damn hard. SO hard. I came a very long way. So many things rattled me as I was vulnerable to them but I forged ahead. Again I have a way to go but comparing now to 12 months ago I have come so far it blows my mind. I no longer have a deep seated self hatred and disgust at who I am. I like me - inside and out. And that's a massive change. Next comes self love?

I made and lost friends in 2012 and while each loss shook me (and said esteem) and rattled me and caused me to question myself, each one also cemented who I am and the reflection and self doubt led to more certainty and awareness of myself, and can only be a good thing. The friends I have are not just friends. They are ones I'd trust my life to. They are the real deal. They are more like family. I am so incredibly lucky to have them and it's something I try never to take for granted.

Speaking of family, it went a bit pear shaped this year. My brother and I, who have had a fairly rocky relationship, are no longer in any contact and haven't been since July. I miss my niece and nephew but this is a far better choice for me.

I guess my blog highlights the most impacting change I made this year in my eventual - slow but sure - progress to adopting a cruelty free lifestyle and a vegan diet. It was an on and off road, I struggled and took my time to understand some of the new food options but I was determined. It meant too much to me not to keep trying and exploring it. I am now firmly entrenched in vegan living and nothing has made me happier. It feels wonderful, and it's who I am, inside. In my day to day life, I don't know or interact with any other vegans, except online. It can be isolating at times, and can feel like no one really understands me, although they all try and are considerate of my decision. Attending events like World Vegan Day and the Carols by Barnlight at Edgars Mission were profound and exciting. Being amongst like minds felt like a relief. I could just be me, no justifications, no defensiveness, just accepted and understood. Pretty powerful stuff. I need to expose myself to more of that. The supports I have online are amazing. In fact, I suspect in 2013, things are going to expand and take off again in this area as my good friend Vik and I have so many ideas for our 2 Vegan Girls venture. I am so inspired and excited about it!

My gorgeous Great Dane Gertie came to live with me, and we had a rough year. Poor love was diagnosed with dodgy kidneys and her life span went from 8y to 2y in an instant. It hit hard. She also had 2 incidents of poisoning which scared the hell out of me, but several thousand dollars later, she's still here, and still a giant, beautiful, sook. How I adore her!

We moved house in May, and have a huge block now for kids and animals to run wild. We added rabbits to our menagerie and aside from adjusting to the dreadful cold of winter in a house with high ceilings and a wood fire, it's pretty cool. My children continue to delight me. Finn is smart and wise and hitting preteen stuff at a rapid rate, scaring the bejeesus out of me at how quickly he is growing. RJ is a wicked delight, constantly making me laugh and cringe all at once. Preparing to have both of my children out of the home for a significant portion of the week with school and kinder terrifies me. I have been a stay at home full time mum for 9 years now and this is it. No more. It's scary and makes my heart hurt a bit. I know I will adapt, but it's going to be a rough ride.

I can't close out the rehash of 2012 without mentioning the major highlight. Something happened this year that I never imagined would, that is a dream come true, quite literally. I met the most inspiring and influential musicians - my absolute hands down all time favourite band: The Tea Party. Their music changed my life, changed how I view music and what it can be in life. That they reunited was major enough, but that they came to Australia and I saw them twice, and met them - was able to shake their hands and thank them... Fuck me. That blows my mind, still. What beautiful guys they are, I am so excited to see what 2013 brings for them and for me by extension in listening to what they create. Nothing topped that moment. It was amazing! Telling the guy on the door "no, not a competition winner, JB put my name down..." Nothing cooler. Nothing.

So, what of 2013? I feel like the critical thing to work on next year the same way I tackled esteem this year is laziness. No more having ideas but avoiding actioning them. Write. Create. Move. I know I can do this! No more getting in my own way. Exploring more veganism issues, studying again, and continuing to blossom into the truest Kelly I can be feels exciting. Let's go!

Happy 2013 to you and yours xx

My nest is emptying a little

I'm scared. There. I've said it. Scared may even be an understatement. Here's the backstory - I tried for almost 3 years to conceive my son. Eventually, I did so, and he is my precious firstborn. He's now 9, and in grade 3, time is flying by at a pace I cannot keep up with. We started trying for a second child when he was just 6 months old, knowing how long it had taken to get him, and aware the same challenge may present itself. In fact, it was worse. It took five long, pain filled years, rounds of clomid, of artificial inseminations, of giving up altogether, then of IVF and finally, finally, my beautiful daughter was conceived and came into this world. She is turning 4 next month. You know what that means, right?

It means next year she is off to kindergarten. 15 hours a week there, before beginning school in 2014. And I... I can hardly bear to think of it. That sounds dramatic, but you must understand how longed for my babies were. How much I have valued every second that slips past faster than I can grab onto it. How much I enjoy their company. When RJ was just two months old, my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. That first year of her life was a blur of chemo, surgeries, and fear. Not to mention the masters thesis that I had to write and submit. Mum is now three years cancer free, my masters is completed, and my baby girl is about to start leaving the nest.

I don't know how to prepare myself for this. Just thinking about it makes tears well up on my eyes and my heart pound. I know I am overreacting and I know I will adjust. God help me when they leave home. I am going back to school next year, so that will help me stay busy while she is gone. I have the Two Vegan Girls project to invest myself in. I just know I will feel like I am missing a limb when my little sidekick is no longer here beside me, permanently. It will be okay... right?? :(

Exciting news!

Have you ever had one of those moments, where something just falls so perfectly into your lap, so perfectly into place at the right time, with the right people, and it just works? I had one such moment this week.

A friend of mine, Viktoriya, was tweeting over the weekend from the Activist Forum in Sydney, and I watched on RTing madly and enjoying what she was reporting back. I sent her a message saying that I wished I could attend and wanted to get more involved. She suggested I contact the people over at World Vegan Day Melbourne. The same people coordinate the Sydney Cruelty Free Festival and this friend had done some writing for them and thought I may be able to do the same.

I was thrilled! Writing and Vegan living! Huzzah!! I made contact and put in a call to talk about what I might like to do to help out, I chose a few sponsors of World Vegan Day to write about and made contact. I really am enjoying learning more about what services and products are out there for vegans. Just really exciting stuff!

I was talking to Vik about the articles and she mentioned in passing, the idea of collaborating on one. I was hit with a clear and bold idea and immediately replied with - what if we collaborated on a blog instead?? She could cover Sydney, I could cover Melbourne, we could talk about our own journey to cruelty free living, our passion, our inspirations... Happily, Vik loved the idea and Two Vegan Girls was born. I hope you will support us as we work out where this wild ride will take us. I have a fantastic vibe about this. Exciting times ahead!

Make your own pledge to Make It Possible by going meat free, reducing meat intake, or eating only ethical meats here.

What are you about?

So, I have no idea what my blog is about. When asked to categorize it, I sort of say 'er.. parenting I guess, although, probably more cooking at the moment. Oh and books, I talk about books a lot...'

In other words, I have NO freaking idea. And just as I start to be concerned about this, and worry that I have no niche and no target, I remember I don't care. I just write about stuff. Stuff I want to talk about. Not many people read it, but that's okay, because it means I can talk about a hodge podge of life in general, and I'm not turning anyone off. Because when I started this blog, blogs were exactly that - a web log. A diary of someones thoughts and experiences. They were not big business, and they were not targeted to specific audiences. That works for me. So, on that note, here is today's hodge podge of everything that smooshes together in my life right now.

Books. I am reading non stop, and was reading a mix of fluff and crime and mystery, but have found myself freaking out too much at the scary books lately, so am on a run of fluffy chick lit at the moment that has escapism firmly planted in its ethos. Bliss. Given I've had this stupid cold/flu thing, it's quite timely.

Writing. Every time I open my... well, I suppose I can call it a story? A book it is not. My writing, anyway, every time I open the file I look at it, feel stupidly overwhelmed, and so promptly close it again. This is Not. Good. Writing. Practice. It's just that it's such a mash at the moment of research, fiction, time sequences are all over the place, and it's quite simply, a big fat mess. My lovely friend, Jess, tells me that the most difficult part of a story happens from 20-30,000 words and if I can get past this hurdle, things will be better. I can see how that is true, I just have no idea how to push through this portion that is the draft from hell.

Food. I'm all about Mexican this week. Because how good is Mexican food?! And it's so freaking easy to vegetarianise (made that word up). Right now in my fridge I have portobello mushrooms, capsicums, and onions marinating in fresh chillies, garlic, lime and lemon juices and paprika and cumin. Helloooo vegie fajitas! And every week I make refried bean burritos and chilli sans carne. So freaking good. So, I was scoping out more ideas for Mexi-Vegi goodness and I have some awesome recipes up my sleeve to try soon. Mexi pot pies, mexi pasta, vego nacho, and this interesting burrito bake that has me intrigued and uncertain, but curious enough to try.

Gertie the great dane now lives in a run for most of the day, she has her own leather couch and all. Spoiled rotten. And she has free runs 3 times a day for a couple hours. Given she mostly sleeps, this seems to work well, and keeps her safe. No more toxins and emergency vet bills. So far. Knock wood.

Parenting is as amazing as ever. I really am so lucky to have scored two of the coolest kids. Finn is 9 and the smartest kid I've ever known. His NAPLAN results were off the chart. Literally. Super smart, and sweet as hell, he's uber nerd like his parents, totally into Dr Who and Minecraft. Love it. Miss RJ is 3 and hilarious. Such a cheeky little bugger, thinks shes hilarious (and usually is). I currently have the worlds biggest Barbie Dreamhouse in my car for her birthday. I want to keep it.

Life... well, life is pretty awesome right now. I am on track with stuff, I have happy texts pinging my phone most days of recent... ;) And I am looking forward to uni next year (enrolled already!) The only thing that could add a touch of sweetener is some more freelance, paid, writing work. So... Get in touch all you editors. I'm a good work. Guy. (Thanks, Lenny).

Picture Credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/40126860/via/abillest

Changing Kelly

My life is such an unplanned mystery right now. I have friends who are happily married, raising kids, planning families, buying homes... But I am heading in a completely different direction. My children are growing. One is at school, one starts kindergarten next year. I have no partner to move forward with. I don't say this in a sad way at all. I'm happy where I am, it's just such a different place from everyone else, and I can't predict it. I have no idea. In some ways, it's actually quite exciting.

When you combine that with how much I have changed in the past few years, it really does feel exciting and new. I feel more certain now, of who I am, and more comfortable with that person. Friendships have changed, some have been lost, some have been strengthened; they're solid and they accept me for me. Brash, honest, passionate and loyal. I'm more confident in my own self, and maybe that's an age thing. Hmm. Wisdom sounds better than age... :)

I'm vegetarian, all but vegan, and I am so confident in that choice. Passionate about it, and it brings a deep seated joy that was unexpected, because I am being true to my values and beliefs.

I've lost 39 kilograms (86 pounds) in the past year, and whilst I have a way to go, I feel so much more alive, have so much more energy, confidence and such better health. I look at the photos of me below and I get emotional. My face is back, chiselled out of the fat that threatened to swallow it. For the first time, I feel beautiful. Feminine. Sexy!

I have no idea what the future brings, but my gut instincts tell me it's going to be worth waiting for. Worth the crap I've waded through to get to. Worth the dodgy men, the surgery, the confronting of who I am and being honest and truthful and authentic in myself. All worth it.

Courage & Confidence

So, how does one get them? I would really like to know, is there a formula I can follow? There must be. I need this stuff.

Do you know how many courses I have agreed to, often paid for, and then not gone because of shyness? A lot. Likewise parties and social engagements and things of that nature. Because I am so freaking shy that it is painful. People sometimes laugh when I tell them I am shy. They don't believe me. Thing is, if I know you, then I am not at all shy! I am comfortable and loud and secure. But getting there takes enormous courage and it often fails me.

I was just invited to a friends birthday party next month. It's at a funky bar in Melbourne, and it sounds like a lot of fun. I'd love to go, I really would. But already I feel nervous and scared of not knowing people aside from the birthday girl who will be busy, of not knowing the bar or where I am going, of what to wear, of how to act... Already I feel fear. I don't want to back out of these situations all the time. I need to challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone more often. What am I scared of?? :(

How on earth do I even begin to work on this? I want to be more social, I want to meet new people and have new experiences. I just don't know how. I don't know that I can. Help?

Being Me

For the first time in a long while, I am not actively seeing anyone. Soon after my marriage broke down, I had a strange sort of relationship with someone overseas. Emotionally I was very attached, but physically, only twice in 2 years did I even see him. So, it was a little strange, but it also suited to a degree to be low key. Sadly, that was never going to work out, and I was used quite badly in the end. I think that my vulnerabilities were taken advantage of in a pretty awful way. I learned from that. As that broke down I began dating someone closer to home. We dated for 7 months, saw one another every few weeks for a date or a weekend away. It was relaxed and easy and fun. I was jerked around in the end here too, by someone who really didn't know what he wanted, and I should have quit when I was ahead but, me being me, I didn't. I kept trying to do what was right and fair and kind. Largely I think because I was a bit scared to be alone. Because I never really have been. But now I am. I have crushes and interests, but I'm not seeing anyone, and I have no commitments. At first, it felt scary and alarming. But now, I like it - sometimes. I get lonely and that sucks, I get frustrated, and that sucks too. But it's nice just being me. Not worrying about being stuffed around, insecure, loved or not loved, hot or cold. Just being me and doing things I want to do - for me. I'm learning to run, building up my fitness and losing more weight. I'm cooking a lot, experimenting with vegan and vegetarian recipes to extend my tastes and contribute to a healthier me and a kinder world. I'm reading endlessly for my happy and I'm writing for my soul. I bought a ticket to a rock festival and I am so excited for it to come around - music is my muse.

I feel like I am learning more about myself and growing more stable and more independent. I like being me. I like living just for what I want and need (and the kids obviously). Living in the moment and indulging the things that make me me. Some day, I think the guy will come along, or show himself in a light that just works. Maybe it will be soon, maybe it won't. I've stopped feeling desperate to find him though. I'm no longer in a rush. I don't believe in book and movie love. I don't believe in grand romances, not any more. I believe in solidity, security, honesty and trust. I believe in respect and mutual admiration and easy fun. I believe in me.

When dreams come true

How corny is that title?! Ha! I don't have much of a bucket list, but this is something I have always longed for and dreamed of. This weekend it happened!

What do you say to people who have impacted your life through their music? What do you say to a band that taught you that music doesn't just sound good, or feel nice to move to, but can permeate your entire being and touch your soul? How do you handle that? I didn't say anything I wanted to. Nothing like that. I was too nervous, and I only had a few minutes. But those few minutes... Shaking their hands, getting a photo and autographs - they'll be memories cherished.

The soundcheck that followed was fascinating. To see and hear what goes on, to watch the skill that goes on beyond instruments and voices, it was really a cool thing to see. They sounded tight and I knew I was gonna be in for an amazing show. Goosebumps!

Seven years since I last saw them, seven years break that they had. I thought I'd never experience their live show again but last night I did and they didn't disappoint. If anything, they were even stronger than ever before. This is the first concert I ever attended alone. That was a weird feeling but it enabled me to totally let go and enjoy myself uninhibited. Except for when I was forced to be. For an acoustic song, the crowd sat down. I stayed on my feet - I wanted to dance and enjoy! A bouncer came and told me sit down or get out. I argued and said I'd paid for it, I'd waited for it, and I wanted to enjoy it. He spoke over the top of me and said you either sit down or you get out. I said that I wasn't sure the band would be thrilled that he was forcing fans to sit and inhibit and threatening them like this. He said it wasn't about the band. Um. Wut? Anyway, he wouldn't listen and just spoke over me repeating I could either sit or leave. I sat the rest of the night. Actually felt a bit embarrassed and stupid and given what had gone on that day and this week, ended up crying a little. Thankfully, I continued to lose myself in JB's beats, and in the music and I let it all go. I liken it to feeling like an empty vessel being filled with the music and boy did I need it.

It was also interesting to see the band perform in terms of seeing their different personalities. After the first song or two, I thought that Stuart was going to do a backflip, he looked so stoked to be back, he was really feeling it and it was tangible. That was very cool. Jeff Martin was, well, he's good and he's talented, but he's a bit scary I reckon. He gets feisty at the people off stage sometimes, I guess he values what he's doing and wants it at its best, makes sense. Jeff Burrows is amazing. He seems to me, to be the fun of the group, he's the one getting the audience on their feet, kissing JM and goofing off. But I know too, how generous a heart he has. I know how much time and effort he gives to charity, and to people who he can help out in any way, and he values the fans - I have so much respect for him. Always have had.

I can only hope that after the experience they had themselves last night, that they continue to feel the passion and the renewed vigor for The Tea Party that we fans do, and we see a lot more of them in the future. Bring that shit on.

Some pics of my meet and greet, soundcheck and the gig follow. Well they would, but blogger won't let me. Bastards. Will do a follow up photo post soon.

Your honest self and the honest friend.

Have been thinking so much about honesty lately. How many of us truly live honestly with ourselves? Do we live in denial, avoiding looking at the truth for fear of what it might mean if we do? It may mean making changes in our lives we don't want to make or are scared to make. Taking risks we don't want to take. Admitting things we don't really want to admit. I lived that way for many years. It was easier, to a degree. Living honestly has been a change I made consciously, and it's more of a challenge than I expected. It's cost me friends. It's cost me relationships. Lovers.

But you know what, the reward you get, the deeper reward of how you feel inside is soooo worth it. I can sleep at night, knowing that I am not kidding myself, that the decisions I have made are right for me, and that I am being authentic and true to who I really am. It's worth more than you can imagine.

Sometimes, my honesty offends. I've lost a few friends, who I have confronted over issues out of concern for them - often bluntly... But they've balked at it, and disappeared from my life. At first, I blamed myself. It upset me a lot that they really couldn't see I asked things because I cared for them. Wasn't it obvious that if I didn't give a shit, I wouldn't say anything?! Apparently not. This article by Julie at Beautiful You really helped my awareness begin to emerge. Not everyone will like you, but it doesn't mean you're worth any less. We're all different, we can't gel with everyone!

I beat myself up when I would email or contact them trying to fix the friendship only for it to be ignored. It hurt. A lot. Then I noticed something... These people were negative. They fuelled my own negativity and it's liberating not to see or hear their negative stuff anymore! Now I only need rid myself of my own negative! It was a nice revelation for me to see that this was a good thing. These losses were actually positive for my life. Wow!

I also surround myself with likewise honest people. Honest friends. Not only with themselves, but with me. Sometimes I make a decision and they don't simply say "well done!" like I might want them to. Sometimes they will challenge me on it. Question me, dig to see if I have made the decision honestly, check to see I've not avoided some things - throw those at me to make sure I am not wearing rose coloured glasses. I love this. I need this. It's so valuable to me - and maybe that's why I do it to others, forgetting not every person will appreciate it the way I do.

Why do you think denial is the preferred way of living for so many? It can't be a happy existence. Not truly. I face my flaws and faults and I work on them. Not always successfully, but I'm aware of them, and I force myself to keep at it, and keep checking for authenticity in every day. It's a start.

The Creating Vegan!

I can't cook. Wait, I can cook, but I can't create meals, I need recipes. And I don't adjust them - I just cook them to instruction every time.

No more!!! Look what I did last night!! I created a vegan recipe and it was soooo omnomnom you can't even believe it! How exciting!

I need a name for these suckers now, droolworthy vegan food comin up.

First, I cooked some minced fresh garlic in a bit of olive oil, then I added a leftover (fridge temp) baked potato, a couple of chopped mushrooms, and chopped leaves of a bunch of pak choy.

Once that had withered, I added about 1/2c of lentils and a good dollop of toffuti better than cream cheese, salt and pepper, and mixed it all up, before letting it cool.

Whack it on some puff pastry (each sheet cut into 4 squares, I used 2 sheets), fold them into triangles, and spray with a bit of canola oil.

Into the oven (about 160 degrees celsius) til browned. YUMMEH!

How do you feel?

So, halfway through the official 2 week challenge (though of course you can start at any time!), and having been eating vegan for 3 weeks now myself, how do I feel?

Honestly, if I told you, I don't think you'd believe me. I feel amazing. I feel as though every cell in my body is buzzing and vibrant with life, and I am feel ridiculously happy. I can only attribute this to my food choices - nothing else has changed. I'm still in the middle of a stressful house move, pinching pennies and what not... But it's just there, it's not a big deal.

Every day I read something or watch something related to veganism and the choice I have made. Sometimes it's about health or the environment or animal welfare... Each time I cement my decision. I've had amazing discussions with people on twitter about being vegan, food substitutes, making a slow transition by either eating LESS meat or eggs, or going completely vegetarian. It's exciting and inspiring!

I compare myself now, to the me of 3 years ago and I almost don't recognise myself. I am no longer married, I am 30kg lighter, I am vegan, and I believe in meditation and finding some kind of inner peace in every day. It's amazing. Life is getting better and better!!

Sample vegan meal plan

This is my meal plan for the next two weeks. I hope it inspires you!

Moroccan Vegetable Stew with CousCous

Powerbean balls and Rainbow Salad

Adzuki Bean Burgers (or maybe just veggie not burgers since the kids love those)

Asparagus and pine nut tart

Spaghetti Bolognese

Mushroom and Asparagus risotto

Vegan Enchiladas

Vegan Chilli

Vegan Alfredo

Jerk Sloppy Joes with coconut creamed spinach

Chickpea cutlets

Tacos

Spinach, mushroom and leek filo parcels

Vegan potato bake

No more meat! Ever!

Did a wee food experiment yesterday. I had some prawns in the freezer that needed to be gone. I love prawns, you see. I decided to cook them up and eat them - for a few reasons. To see how I felt afterward emotionally and physically primarily. Plus, I wanted to eat the prawns. They're tasty.

It went as I expected. First, I could hardly stand to eat them because they are not vegan. And they are not 'true' to how I feel about food now. I didn't enjoy them on that mental level at all anymore. Secondly, they hurt my stomach. I have some trouble with some foods with my tiny tummy, but since switching to plant based foods, I have not had anywhere near the issues, nor to anywhere near the extent I do when I eat animals. This hurt my stomach, it caused a horrible slimy mucusy situation that made me want to vomit for a long time after I stopped eating. I haven't felt like that since eating plants. I had forgotten about it (and remembered in a hurry let me tell you). Fascinating.

It's nice for me to know that, aside from all the psychological and intellectual reasons I did this, my body is in full agreeance. Meat is not my friend. It certainly affirmed that my decision would make me happier on every level. Never again.

Ethical Vegan

I've sort of avoided talking about the most obvious reason people go vegan - animal rights and ethics. I don't want to get preachy, or overzealous and turn readers off. It's hard to be passionate about something without getting too full on.

The best way I can communicate this, the most effective way, is to suggest you watch Earthlings. Okay, to be fair, I have not watched it myself. I could barely make it through the trailer. So... I suggest you watch the trailer. In fact, I implore you to. Please, don't bury your head in the sand, or ignore what goes on. I know it's easier not to look. I know it's easier to eat meat and not think about where it came from. I know we don't want to know. But please, please, make your choices with all the knowledge. Watch this trailer.

This is the most graphically violent trailer for a film I have seen. And it's real. It's not fiction. It's real. It says all I could ever begin to, and it takes just 2 minutes of your time.

Vegan Resources

Today's post is basically just a bunch of links. Recipes, resources, shops, information... lose yourself in a new world of yummy food, and mindful eating. Brilliant!

Turning Veganese is a food blog run by some of my friends in America. Their food is creative and inspiring - and freaking yum.

Jamies beans - Good old Jamie Oliver has a few vego recipes - not all are vegan, some are vegetarian, but they are yummo!!! This is one of my faves.

VeganEasy.org has a fabulous 30 day vegan meal plan. Especially helpful for those of us new to the game and wanting some meal ideas for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

At some point, Oprah's entire team did a vegan challenge themselves. They went vegan for a week, all 378 of them. Some great resources resulted.

Post Punk Kitchen. This may well be my favourite site EVER. Combining music and veganism this place has great recipes, They have a fabulous community and forum as well.

Mouthwatering Vegan. Say no more. The recipes on this blog are amazing!

Vegan Chickie. A blog by one of my lovely Aussie mates - she has some brilliant recipes. I wish she still updated the blog but the archives have loads to offer still.

The Vegan Woman. I like this article about starting out toward a vegan lifestyle and how to veganise your life!

Veg News A great article about parenting and veganism.

Oh She Glows Yet another brilliant foodie vegan blog. There is so much inspiration out there for vegan food. Who could miss meat?!

Vegan Online A fabulous online store for all things vegan. Not only food, but cleaning stuff, personal supplies, cosmetics and so on. The staff are helpful and friendly and only to happy to help make your shopping experience a good one.

The Cruelty Free Shop. Another online store with loads of noms to make vegan living one helluva good experience. No missing out with places like these around!

Film: Forks over knives. All about how veganism can improve your health. And what meat eating can do. :/

Film: Food Inc. Examines all aspects of food and how it effects health, environment and ethics.

Film: Earthlings. A hard to watch but must see film about humanity's absolute dependence on animals (for pets, food, clothing, entertainment, and scientific research) but also illustrates our complete disrespect for these so-called "non-human providers."


Inspired? Now get into my 2 week vegan challenge!

The 2 week vegan challenge!

Wait!! Bear with me, don't write it off straight away. Read first! I know the V word is scary and sounds off putting but it's not! Truly. And what's exciting about it is that you get to try new foods, new ways of cooking, a new way of living. And you challenge yourself. And that always feels good. Tell me I'm wrong! It does!

This Sunday marks Earth Day for 2012. What better way to celebrate than to embrace an earth friendly diet? Being vegan is something I have been interested in for some time now. For a few reasons and only one of them is the cruelty free aspect. Certainly, it feels good to know by not eating meat or animal products I am contributing to saving a life. I've watched some stuff that cemented that as being right for me. It's heartbreaking to truly see and understand what goes on in the farming industry.

But there's more than that. I find that my body craves whole foods. Healthy, raw produce just makes my body feel good. Feel right. And a vegan diet has insane health benefits, in a massive way!

So, my challenge is for two weeks, just two short weeks - that you give veganism a go. Every day I will post resources for recipes, food stuffs, videos, books and research.

If you're freaking out about no cheese and chocolate - don't. Vegan chocolate is AHHMAAAYZING. Seriously. And there are cheesy alternatives aplenty! Besides... it's only two weeks. You can do this, I swear.

I have sourced some awesome blogs and websites full of recipes and stuff to make you drool so hard you will need a bucket. Naturally, I am doing it with you, so we can inspire one another with messages of inspiration and feel good.

So I won't bombard you with info today, we can start Sunday the 22nd - Earth Day, and as I said, I'll post daily with information and links but consider this. 2 weeks and what do you lose? Nothing much. What do you gain? SO much. The feeling of success and pride, the feeling of joy in contributing to a more peaceful, less violent world, the health benefits, new recipes, new ways of thinking, a broader mind. What are you waiting for? Let me know that you're in!

You can also add the 2 week vegan challenge button to your blog.

‎"Compassion is a muscle that gets stronger with use. Eating consciously is an exercise in kindness, and the more I work at it, the more empowered I feel. When I eat food that's grown in the ground or in trees, my mind is clear, my body thrives, and I'm more deeply connected with the world." - Kathy Freston.

Jan & Feb resolutions

Remember here and here I talked about my resolutions for each month and what I wanted to aim for? So far, so good.

For January, I took a weekend away for the kids, and had a blast. We went to the movies, swimming, a magic show and lots of shopping. Was such a nice time! We went to the cinema again later that week, and Finn starts movie school for a week this week. I would say that is a big fat ACHIEVED for that item.

I also wanted to keep a gratitude journal, and every night I enter about 5 sentences per day about what happened that day that made me happy or challenged me or that made me feel good. It's such a good way to be in the moment and appreciate the smaller things and I truly believe that is the secret to happiness.

Next month I start my Italian lessons for 6 weeks. I am so looking forward to it - not just for the beautiful language and the thrill of learning, but also because it means I get to be in the city which I love, and one of besties that lives in the city and I are going to catch up for lunch as often as we can manage. I don't see as much of her as I want to, so I am so excited about that part of it as well.

I also organised tackled something else on my secondary list for February as intended. I bought some art kits. I want to learn to paint, so I got an acrylics set and a charcoal drawing set on the way. I have zero artistic talent. Minus talent, even. But I think I'll enjoy it even if it looks crap. So, that excites me as well.

I've challenged myself personally this month as well, in terms of relationships, and it has been difficult, but true to myself and that's only ever a good thing. Add to this the 19kg of weight I have lost and the nose ring I have gained and I feel excited about the person I am becoming.

2012 feels good. I am finding myself fast and it's incredibly exciting.

Resolutions and Getting a life.

I've been thinking lately, that my life seems sort of empty. That sounds awful. I don't mean empty exactly, just... quiet? I rely on other people too much and I need to find things to fulfil myself. I need to fill life with hobbies and interests, I think. It's scary. I'm not sure I have the confidence to do it. I found this great blog with a good tip on how to start. Here it is -


List 20 activities that you have enjoyed over the last ten years. For example, going to the seaside, having friends over for dinner, walking in the country.
List 10 activities that you do not do, but think you would like to pursue.


Make yourself a promise now to do one activity from each list in the next month. Write down what you will have to do to fit in these two new activities.
Developing new interests requires a positive approach. Even if things do not work out, you need to be able to tell yourself, “It’s not a failure because I’ve learned something”.


Research has shown that if we have no hobbies or interests to absorb and challenge us, we tend to get stressed, depressed, discouraged, and bored. If we are not careful, a vicious circle can develop in which the less we do, the more miserable we feel, and as we become more unhappy we are less willing to take risks and take up new activities.


1. Taking the kids out
2. Seeing musicals
3. Learning a language
4. Seeing friends
5. Writing
6. Holidays close to home
7. Travel overseas
8. Nights out with friends
9. Cooking
10. Movies
11. Study
12. Self awareness and improvement
13. Working
14. Beauty therapies (mani, pedi, massage)
15. Gaming
16. Shopping
17. Live music
18. Bushwalking
19. Lego
20. Reading


1. Painting
2. Acting
3. Horseriding
4. Boxing gym
5. Darkroom photography
6. Gratitude journal
7. Dog training
8. Meditation workshop
9. Book club
10. Vegetable garden

For January I am going to start a gratitude journal, all that requires is 5 minutes each evening before bed, and I already have this great journal for the purpose. From my other list, I am going to take the kids out. It's school holidays, they will be going insane and so will I. We went to the zoo not long ago, and scienceworks as well, so I think I need to find something new for them. Perhaps Werribee Zoo.

For February I will be starting my Italian lessons, and from list B, I'm going to pursue growing vegetables myself. Tomatoes, cucumbers... Yum. Here goes nothing... :)

The power of thought?

How powerful do you think your mind is? I've been thinking about the power of thought lately. From 'The Secret' to a Dan Brown-esque book of fiction I just finished (called The Fourth Awakening), it's becoming an increasingly popular theory.

I dreamt the other night that someone in my dream called my name. I responded by sitting bolt upright in bed, as though it were real, and not in my head.

I've had a sore stomach for a week. Since about the time I decided with certainty to get the surgery. I can eat without any problem, but my upper abdomen is sore and tight. I wonder if it's stress? Or a reaction to anticipatory stress of the op? I'm fairly obsessive in my thinking about the surgery. It makes me wonder what effect my thoughts are having on my body and if it's possibly what's going on. Seems a bit of a nutty theory though.

Another thing I've been thinking about for some months now, is becoming vegan. I've a few vegan friends who've shared amazing recipes, and each seems really well grounded and centered in life in general. Since after the operation, I'll need to change my eating entirely - albeit temporarily - I might use the opportunity to make the change entirely. My greatest concern is alternatives to chocolate. How sad is that?? Since I'll be eating less anyway, it seems timely. Whilst I currently eat animal products, im enjoying them less and less. I need to read up on it some so I can get my head around it in time.

For a year or so now, I have felt like my life is this messy jumble, out of control and chaotic. I can see future me, settled and happy and focused, but I don't know how to get there. I want to slow down and be more aware of every day. I want to be grateful and cherish small things. I want to be centered and calm. I don't know where to start.