Monday, August 29, 2011

I'm insecure. Seriously. In a big, big, way. There are lots of reasons for this, I could likely trace them back a long way, but it's mostly adult experiences that have led me to be this way. It's an awful feeling. It invites paranoia, low self-esteem, and sadness. It's full of fear.

Fear is the worst emotion a human being can feel, in my opinion. It's so invasive. I think that every negative feeling and emotion we experience can always be traced back to fear. One way or another. How do you fight fear?

I recently read a book written by Brené Brown, called The Gifts of Imperfection. It was such a brilliant book, so much that I thought I was alone in thinking, I discovered I wasn't. I quote - "Most of us have experienced being on the edge of joy only to be overcome by vulnerability and thrown into fear. Until we can tolerate vulnerability and transform it into gratitude, intense feelings of love will often bring up the fear of loss."

It just spoke to me. I yesterday ordered this book. I always shunned the entire self help industry and felt it was for pathetic types. How fitting a lesson that I turn to it myself now, but I need to work on this. My issues of trust, insecurity and most of all, fear, need to be worked on and erased for good. I don't want to live in fear anymore.

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