Staying motivated.

I wrote this on July 23rd last year, and I need to read it often to stay inspired.


I have direction, and I have it clearly and firmly.
The presenter at the seminar on Wednesday said something that I really got a lot from: constantly starting new projects is an act of fear. Fear of finishing something, and the imperfection it will be. She said accept imperfection and FINISH IT. First drafts, are by nature, imperfect. She said that so many talented writers never get a book written because of exactly this. It really hit me. I can see myself in that.
I keep starting new and shorter things, putting off finishing my novel. So, thats it. My short story is ready to be submitted at the last few places I intend to send it, and now I am going to go back to the fiction I wrote during my Masters, and complete it to novel length. This weekend, I am going to sit down with it and work out a chapter plan (her advice again, and me being a list lover, totally me!) and set myself a writing goal of words per week. It is time to be firm with myself and push through. Even if it is terrible. That’s what editing and further drafts are for.
I thought about why I have put it off, and I realised that when I wrote it, I had some intense things going on in my life – an IVF pregnancy, and my mother’s breast cancer and subsequent surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. As a result, I have not only linked the emotions of that time to the writing, but nor did it end up reflecting my original vision for it. I was not as dedicated to it as I wanted to be, because of those things. Now, I can be. Now I can inject my everything into it, and bring it back to that vision. I still believe in the story, and am absolutely certain of its potential, and my ability to reach it completely.