Don't have kids? Apparently, you're an idiot.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I recently saw many of my friends post the following article on their facebook page. I couldn't open it to even read it for a week or two. The title alone made me too angry.

Why? Because the title is already implying that people without children are stupid and do not know better, and that motherhood is an exclusive club.

Bull. Shit.

Smug crap. It still to this day, raises my hackles. Yes, I am a mother, but I never, ever ever forget, that some can't. Some struggle. Some don't need this kinda stuff thrown about as a joke. Some just don't WANT to. Sure, motherhood can be hard work, but do we need to imply anyone who doesn't give it due credit is a moron? We're not heroes. We're not martyrs. Motherhood is NOT an exclusive club, and people who do not have children are not stupid or worthy of the eyeroll implied in this article. Their opinions on topics involving children are just as valid as those with children. Please, don't make a huge mistake and forget that.

Adult High School

Friday, October 15, 2010

I was thinking the other day, that sometimes I see the patterns of high school repeat in adult life. In high school, for a while, I hung out with the in crowd. They would bitch about one another behind their back, so I knew I would be copping my fair share as well, but I figured there was not really anyone else to sit with, so I stayed.

In my last year of high school, I made some new friends. They were not the in crowd, but they were cooler than them anyway (they just felt no need to shout it from rooftops...) And they were my kinda people. The in crowd would either rubbish or ignore them, but I wished I had found them earlier than 17.

As an adult, I have discovered a similar thing. A vocal majority may disparage someone for various reasons... maybe they whine a lot. Maybe they are religious, or do not engage in certain memes or behaviours that their values do not align with... But often, these people are "my people." Often, I find that the friendships offered are stronger, more genuine, longer lasting, and less fair weather, than those with a louder voice. "Choose your friends wisely" - indeed.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in fitting in, even as adults, in saying the right things. Being witty, being clever. Sometimes - especially in the online world - I find it hard to distinguish the real people from the personas they create. Larger than life characters, but not 'real' people. If you put the real you out there, though, and you're accepted and loved - no feeling in the world beats that. 1 true friend over 100 people adoring someone that isn't really me... No contest.

Just something to consider over the weekend. Enjoy it :)

Follow Up

Further to the other day, I wanted to share this video with you -

It breaks my heart. What are we as parents doing wrong to have this all go so wrong of late? Why are we perpetuating these judgmental and cruel perspectives? Why are we not teaching our children that different is okay - regardless of its form? People are going through so much pain. Bullying is awful in any form, be it because a kid is gay, different looking, or smart, or fat, or whatever it might be.

Isn't it difference that makes us each special and unique?? Is it not difference that makes us who we are, that special someone to someone else? Sometimes it is the very things I can't stand about myself, that another may love. I just wish we could love our children, and raise them to love one another. To accept one another. I feel this is a revolution of change right now, and I truly hope that momentum continues to build and society keeps being forced to pay attention, to make changes, and to open their minds.

Religion and Homosexuality

Saturday, October 9, 2010

It has been a long time since I blogged, personally. I have been blogging semi-regularly over at in a professional capacity, but what better way to return to personal blogging than with a wowzer of a controversial topic?! How very me.

This link is the one in a string I have read on twitter this week, relating to suicides of young people, due to bullying, and often as a result of homosexuality. Two stood out to me this morning, and have really affected me - enough to prompt me to blog, anyway. Aside from the previous link, this blog entry at Scary Mommy, written by a guest blogger (@TexanMama) really upset me.

I don't understand it. How can someone be so upset that their kids teacher is gay? I wouldn't have a clue if F's teacher is gay, straight or all of the above. And you know what, if she was, and it DID affect the discussions and focus of the teaching, then great! I am all for his mind being opened to all kinds of walks of life. The more he understands we are all different - and that's okay - the better.

How can love be wrong? Ever? How??? Isn't love the entire point? Isn't that what we are here for? How can that ever be wrong??? And if your God is telling you it is, surely there is some problem there? I am not religious. AT ALL. Organized religions do nothing but upset me. I am spiritual. I believe... in something. Maybe. Organized religions seem to be nothing but trouble and hatred and judging.

Our children, teenagers all over the world, are KILLING THEMSELVES. They are dying. Because they are not accepted. Because they cannot bear to be alive in a world that tells them they are evil, wrong, and unworthy, simply because of who they are. How tragic is that?? Why does it bother you, what other people do and who they love? Why does it bother you that a childs role model is openly gay? They NEED these role models. They need to see that love is always okay. F asked me once about a friend at school that had 2 mums, and I explained that families are all kinds of different. 2 mums, 2 dads, one of each, only one, grandparents... That some people marry boys, some marry girls, and every match up is okay. So long as people are happy and in love!

I feel heavy hearted that people advocate and spout this sort of stuff. Someone asked how would I feel if F were to become a conservative christian, in the same way we ask those people how they'd feel if their children were gay. How would I feel? I would love him. I would respect his choices. And I would appreciate all that is wondrous, beautiful, and loving about him, the same way that I do now. Why is that such a hard concept for anyone to grasp?

I wish I could inspire a revolution of change. I wish I could end the homophobia and bigotry, and it desperately upsets me that I am just one person. All I can do is ensure that I raise the 2 children I have with open minds, and loving hearts. Regardless of creed, sexuality, or anything else. It's the best I can do.