Standing on a precipice

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I have 2 weeks left. 2 weeks before life becomes a haze of chaos when I start the Master of Teaching with Deakin. Some of the materials arrived today for the English class. The teaching ones won't be far off. It looks like an interesting course, challenging, but achievable. I'm excited about it, but nervous too. It's been so long now since I was in the workforce, it will take some adjustment. This is why I kept studying all this time, it kept me in the loop and skilled up.

F started grade 2 this week, it seems only yesterday he was starting playgroup, clinging to me, desperately attached and bonded and still a baby, really. It should get easier, that first day, but I still shed a few tears on the drive home. God help me when I take 2 kids for a first day. RJ is starting playgroup at montessori shortly as well, though I will be with her. She started dance classes last week, and F is back at karate this coming week, so things are busy already. Adding study in to the mix is sure going to keep me on my toes.

I will finish my 2 weeks of remaining leisure up with palooza. Sure will be a way to go out with a bang! It's hard to balance being a mother, with being Kelly. But to me, it is so important to be more. I don't want to lose my own identity. I love being a mother, and it is a huge part of who I am, but it doesn't make all of me. I am still Kelly, and I still have my own interests and passions, my own goals and my own life. Going away with friends, studying, writing... This is why when I blog, I blog about all kinds of things. Sure, my kids make up a huge part of it, but I have to make sure I don't lose Kelly. Its crucial.

A friend of mine, Gayle, sent me a message today that totally made my day. She had been reading the blog of one of her favourite authors, and sent me the link saying that she felt I had a similar 'voice' and may enjoy her work. It was flattering and encouraging (and a new author is always gold!) I was thrilled when the first post I read by the author mentioned The Tea Party (think band not politics). Definitely some similarity there ;) It has inspired me to go back to my writing again, to keep plugging away at it, and exploring it. I am trying not to focus so much on the end goal of publication so much as just experimenting with works and enjoying the process. Bliss for its own sake.

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