A year older, and the year ahead!

Written: 20 November 2006

It was my birthday last Thursday. Remember when that was a good thing?! I have begun the final year of my twenties, and I am clinging onto them for dear life. 30 next year, means I really am an adult, and there no escaping it. I am convinced I am still about 19. Somehow, ten years have passed and it has me beat how I missed them. They've been bloody good years though! J and I have been together for most of them, and still, I am sure it was only yesterday I fell in love with him at uni! And of course, the world was turned upside down in that time when our gorgeous boy arrived in the world. Youth is one thing, but I'd be old forever to have my little boy (if only I could keep him at this beautiful, 'mama is my world' age!)

So what of the next year? Someone asked this on a website I use and it was a good thing to consider. Bit early for resolutions (that I dont think I have ever kept anyway), but good to set some goals.

I applied to do a postgrad qualification so I am hoping I am accepted. I have been studying tourism, and I have enjoyed it, but I dont think it will fit with what I want the next few years of my life to be. Its all about long hours and shift work and rotating rosters. Thats fine when my boy, F, is a little older, but in his early school years, I dont want to be too far away. I could always return if I wanted to anyway.

So I thought I would dig out my so far useless Bach Arts degree and get a postgrad in teaching, and teach secondary for a while. Its the other job that has always held appeal for me. I could get the Grad Dip in Education next year and be ready to teach, but all I could teach would be philosophy, psychology and social ed/sociology. So I decided, I have 2 years before I want to go back to work fulltime, so I will spend next year getting a post grad in literary studies so I can add english to my potential classes. Admittedly, there is also an element in there of doing literature for the sheer pleasure of it. NERD!

Since F will be at kindergarten 3 mornings a week, I can study full time (have managed a half load the last 18 months with him home fulltime). I am going to need something to fill that time. I am dreading him going!

He has started last week doing 2hours a week to get him used to it for the 3 mornings next year. He LOVED it. I know he is so ready and will thrive, so I am happy, but of course, the part of me letting go for the first real time is sad. I feel like its the beginning of the end of my job as a full time mother... it is. But thats not entirely bad... just a wee bit sad. Its gone so fast and I have adored every second.

Which makes me think about the whole should we have more children thing again... Will make a decision in the next few months about returning to fertility treatment. Have had 12 months off now, and had decided that was it and was struggling to accept that. Then I realised I dont have to say its definitely over, I can always change my mind! It sounds simple but it was liberating. So, I'll decide... one day...

Speaking of infertility, next year a weekend away is being planned with the small group of women who have been like my support group through infertility. All 7 of us face fertility "challenges" (HA!) and have become like family, and we are scattered across Australia, so we have marked the long weekend in March as one we will spend together, drinking, eating and being merry! (Unless of course, theyre all up the duff, which would mean I'd drink alone for the 7 of us! Woot!)

Also want another holiday with my boys next year, and to spend more time with my beautiful little niece. I just feel like its going to be a good year.