Evil. For kids.

Where did it come from?? Finn has a toy, I've no idea how it made its way into our house, but each time it surfaces, I think ugly thoughts. I ponder the uproar over "sexy" dolls, violent toys, and controversial products that seem to somehow make it onto the toy market and I think to myself - why are we so worried about these when THIS toy exists? When THIS haunts me? When THIS makes my life a goddamn misery every time it is pulled from the toy box.

And what is this toy? What is this demonic creation causing heartache and such a distressed reaction to me?? Oh, I'll tell you, but I warn you, unless you've seen it in action, you'll likely not fully 'get' how traumatic this thing is. Ready? Here it is.



It has relatives, too. The recorder for one. Who the hell makes and markets these to children? Because I've a bone to pick with you. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????? Certainly, you weren't thinking of the parents. Oh, educational you say. Creative. OR JUST A GODDAMN PAIN IN MY EARS UNRELENTINGLY FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

And why, you ask, haven't I thrown it away? Why is it still here? Because it is evil. Every time I go to find it to ditch it, it hides. HIDES. I don't know where, and I don't know how it still survives, but some day... some day I am going to get my hands on it, and as it whines its last EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I will smile the smile of a satisfied, somewhat insane, harassed mother, and peace will reign. At least until the recorder is found, and blown at full capacity. Sigh.