Eat, Pray, Love.
Bridges of Madison County.
How Stella got her Groove Back.
Julie and Julia.
Under the Tuscan Sun.
Just a few titles of movies about women having crises later in life. Uprooting their lives and doing something totally out of the norm. Maybe 33 is a little younger than the women in these plot-lines, but this is how I feel. I'm unhappy, restless, and trying to be positive. What I want is a total revamp. I want to live in Italy for a year, and write. I want to learn foreign languages and new skills. I want self discovery and experiences. It's obviously a common theme. I'm not alone, it's a rapidly growing topic in literature and film. Of course, that tends to be for those that take the leap and embrace the risk. I can't quite manage it, yet. Maybe that's why I am slightly below the usual age, I have to wait for the kids to grow up before I leap?
It makes sense that after broken relationships, and time spent on other people - children, family, etc. that women want to find themselves again. That they want to live a dream. What if you don't know what your dream is? How can you work toward it, then?
I can see how these films are successful. How exciting it would be to throw off the traditional, and the expected, and take a leap into something we all want to do, but few of us manage.
And, in the meantime, what do I do to fulfil the empty? To give myself a reason. To be ME. I keep travelling, I keep learning, and I keep striving to ignore that someday, and live in today. I work on what my dream is, I fine tune it, and I find ways to live it. Stubborn. Determined. I am rambling today. I'm not in a good state of mind. I am not happy, and I am not positive. Mostly, I feel lost. I guess my thoughts are too.
2 comments:
I could cry reading that, in fact I do have tears in my eyes.....I get you......I so very much get you xo
I get what you mean too kel, i am fast approaching the big 4-0 and after nearly 21 yrs of being a mother i will finally have all my children at school and work, as much as i love and have loved being a mother i feel it is now my turn to look at my future and what/where i want to go, my ultimate dream is to be a midwife but alas my health isn't going to allow me to do that, so have decided to be an integration aide and help those kids that are struggling in our education system. Good luck with your dreams, reach for the stars i say ;-)
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