Mild panic rising.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Mum had a follow up mammogram yesterday. Today there are 2 concerns. One is a build up of fluid, which apparently sometimes happens, and is not concerning. They want to give her a local anesthetic and drain it. The other is a shadow that they are unsure about. Her oncologist and the radiologist both said it was probably just a cyst, but to be sure, since they were draining the fluid anyway, they'd also do a biopsy on it at the same time.

Now rationally, this all sounds fine, nothing to panic over. But, I can tell Mum is worried, and it makes my heart ache. it makes my mind race. I can feel that should I let it, the panic would overwhelm me. I'm stronger than that. And so is she. We'll both just wait it out. She has this done next Thursday, and then has to wait a week for results. It seems cruel that there is such a wait. She's been through enough, was it so hard to have a clear mammo again? Fuck it. Fuck cancer.


Emma said...

The waiting is the absolute worst. Since her treatment for breast cancer 13 years ago, my mum has had a couple of "shadows" show up on her mamograms. Her Onc used ultrasound to double check, but there hasn't been anything sinister. Hope the waiting doesn't make you too nutty :) Love and hugs to you both.

Anonymous said...

I'll send all the love and positive thoughts in the world that the time flies by and that al is well.

You've been through this before, you're strong enough to do it again if needs be. Love to you both. xxoo

FeistyKel said...

Thanks guys. The mind can be such a source of torment sometimes. Reigning it in!

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