Sorry

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Edenland started a powerful blog link this week. I've found myself really overwhelmed by the emotion in these posts. They're filled with pain and heart, and they are amazing to read. I wanted to join. I've felt overwhelmed by it. I'll try. I expect to need a box of tissues by the time I finish. :/

I'm sorry I was never enough to make you proud. I'm sorry that my best efforts failed. I'm sorry that I have disappointed you and let you down, over and over. I'm sorry that I have not been someone you can love, totally.

I'm sorry I am not social enough. I'm sorry this effects you. I'm sorry you are not confident and that no matter how I try, I can't make you see the awesome you are. I'm sorry you feel things so deeply and experience the same anxiety I always have. I'm sorry I don't hug you more.

I'm sorry I didn't wait longer. Give more. I'm sorry I didn't love less conditionally. I'm sorry I let go. I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'm sorry you can't see what I see when I look at you. I'm sorry I couldn't fix you, or take away your fears. I tried so hard. I wanted to, so much. I'm so sorry we failed. I'm sorry I don't have courage. I'm sorry I am so insecure. I'm sorry I'm not prettier, thinner, smarter. I'm so, so, sorry I hurt you.


6 comments:

lyndaal said...

they are powerful - to read and to write. Im glad you took part - it takes so much courage to write these sometimes x

Kel said...

I can feel the hurt, and I feel like I understand in a way that someone who has been hurt can. Does that make any sense? Probably not. All these posts have been wrenching, your included, and I hope that we can all support eachother and remind ourselves that being who we are is NOT something to be sorry for. xx

Jayne said...

So beautiful and sad. I hope you're ok after writing something so cathartic x

Kate said...

Beautifully written Kel, I hope doing so gave you a little peace xox

Donna said...

They are pretty powerful posts arent they? Hope you feel so much better for letting yours out x

edenland said...

Kel ... wow. I'm reading through them all in increments, and had no idea they would all be so full of strength as well as ache.

Thank you so much for taking part. xxx

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