Have you ever been in a destructive relationship? Maybe with a friend, a parent, or a partner? I'd like to hear from you if you have.
For the past 2 years, I've been in an on again off again 'thing' with a guy in America. Many of you will know this. He's not abusive, yet he has a power to manipulate and hurt me, more than anything. Somehow, he has access to the most vulnerable parts of me, and when he hurts me, it's devastating and I feel so incredibly low, and broken. I need to cut him off, and let go for good, but it hurts so terribly.
Realistically, he'll never change. Never get here. Never make me worth the effort. I've spent so much time, far too much money, and so much heart on him - and his children. It's tough to lose the friendship, too. He was often my go-to for everything. That he has hurt me so badly, again... I have to stop this. I can't keep on in this cycle. He is not good for me. I cut him off social networks, changed my email, deleted his number. Ugh. Grief. My 3yo asks about him, adores him. He ditched her, too :(
It's scary. I'm a mess. It'll get better... right?