Destructive relationships

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Have you ever been in a destructive relationship? Maybe with a friend, a parent, or a partner? I'd like to hear from you if you have.

For the past 2 years, I've been in an on again off again 'thing' with a guy in America. Many of you will know this. He's not abusive, yet he has a power to manipulate and hurt me, more than anything. Somehow, he has access to the most vulnerable parts of me, and when he hurts me, it's devastating and I feel so incredibly low, and broken. I need to cut him off, and let go for good, but it hurts so terribly.

Realistically, he'll never change. Never get here. Never make me worth the effort. I've spent so much time, far too much money, and so much heart on him - and his children. It's tough to lose the friendship, too. He was often my go-to for everything. That he has hurt me so badly, again... I have to stop this. I can't keep on in this cycle. He is not good for me. I cut him off social networks, changed my email, deleted his number. Ugh. Grief. My 3yo asks about him, adores him. He ditched her, too :(

It's scary. I'm a mess. It'll get better... right?


Lib said...

It will get better Kell. It does take time. But you are worth the effort. <3 Cutting off a destructive relationship is hard, relationship breakdowns are harder than death in my honest opinion. People are so very accessible these days. Hang in there, it will get better, I've recently lost someone I considered my go to, and its tough. So very tough.

April said...

It will get better honey, you are worth the effort. Remember that someone not putting the effort into you is not your downfall, it is theirs.

B said...

When you say he manipulates and hurts you, does he do it in a deliberate way?

And you say that he has the power to manipulate and hurt... but it is you who possesses the power to either allow him or deny him the opportunity.

Do what is best for YOUR heart, YOUR soul, YOUR wellbeing. If you can preserve those things, you are living the best life you possibly can for yourself and your kids.

xo B

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