An update on Op Eleanor. Have I been facing down fears? Hell yes. It leaves such a weird feeling, it's sort of exhausting. This mix of looking forward to something whilst at the same time desperately just wanting it to be over - I feel in a permanent state of that feeling and its high anxiety. Tough.
I worked! I nailed the interview I mentioned last post, and I worked for a few hours on Tuesday. I loved it. The sense of purpose and adult interaction and money... I offered more help in the future and she has my number so I will just hope. They were wonderful people to work for.
You know what else I did that seems completely nothingy but is a huge deal to me? I booked a spray tan. I've never had one before, whilst I am still a big girl, I am 39kg less than I was and confident enough to get one at least. Still nervous as hell, though. It's not a booth one, it's an airbrush vegan one from Lavish Tan. Thankfully, my communications with Alex so far in making the booking have reassured me it will be ok, she is lovely.
I'm also going solo to World Vegan Day on Sunday - nervous but excited. That same mix of feelings for all of these things. I think my adrenalin rush will kill me by the time December rolls around!