Controversial? ME?!
Okay so I used to consider myself a little bit hippy, I was into the breastfeeding co sleeping nocry sleep stuff. I still am, truth be told. With RJ, I have been unable to feed past 4.5 months which hurts like hell, and cosleeping has eased off as well as a result, the no cry stuff still happens now shes happier and we can do so.
BUT.
Some of the really crunchy shit gets my goat. For instance, a friend of mine recently posted a link to this thing on 'birth trauma,' - seriously?! My understanding is that some are so upset at not getting the birth the way they wanted that its warranting the term 'trauma' - and mostly its because the medical profession got involved.
Now I don't get it. I can understand the word disappointment being appropriate here, but trauma?! Come on... if the worst trauma you experience in life is not getting to birth your kid the way you prefer then life is pretty rosy for you! The baby is here, healthy, you're alive, you are all well, suck it up!!! Focus on THAT not on sooking that its not how you wanted. Well, F wanted ice cream for breakfast and he didnt get it but hes over it. I just think, how can it be THAT big a deal!?
I am upset that I can no longer feed RJ, disappointed, angry, sad... but TRAUMATISED? no. I am traumatised by Mums illness. People are traumatised by serious crimes. Perspective?! Geez....
And what pisses me off further is this whole anti medical intervention crap, and the rude, insulting names that doctors are often called for intervening when it is not the patients first choice. If they did not and your baby DIED, would you then be angry they did not or glad you got your way? I don't honestly understand. And if you are unwell, who are you going to go to? Medical staff no doubt, and they will be a hero if they catch your cancer in time, or save your babes life yes? But intervening in your birth makes them monsters worthy of abuse.
Beats the hell out of me. Is it just me that doesn't get it!? Please explain!!!!! I am open to learning and understanding on this. Teach me if you think you can!
Ramble ramble...
I have had a rough few days but I feel more in control again today. Mum is beginning to lose her hair the past few days, and is understandably pretty upset about it, I can't get my head around it, it is sure to be confronting and make denial difficult, it is all so very unreal, I can't quite grip the idea. It was difficult to explain to F, he is only 5, why Nanny will be bald. I said tat sometimes he hates his yucky medicine, but it makes him better so he has to have it and explained that was sort of how it was with nanny and that it also makes her hair fall out. He seemed to accept that and said it would be strange if she is bald and she might look like a man! True enough, she may mate! I prepare him that way so it is not a shock when he sees her is the idea.
She had cut it short, but has now shaved it shorter again but is unsure how long what is there will remain. She intends to be a hat wearer extraordinaire now.
F himself is home unwell today, puffy eye, bumped noggin and sore ear all unrelated, all in a week. Not good! RJ is well and snoring at the moment - due to wake any moment and I will be off again.
I am hiding from my masters, though it is staring me in the face, mocking me, begging for me to work on it, I foresee an all nighter on the horizon. WHY did I have to try and write 'literature' when popular fiction is so much more my style?! It is painful to try and do this, when I have just read the pile of shite that is the twilight phenomenon, the writing in that is really pretty shabby, yet she is rolling in it now. I could do that!!! Just need the discipline really.
My cough is getting better slowly, the sooner it is the sooner I can go visit Mum, hurrah!
J is good and working hard to keep the rest of us sane and well, poor bugger!
I feel lost.
She had cut it short, but has now shaved it shorter again but is unsure how long what is there will remain. She intends to be a hat wearer extraordinaire now.
F himself is home unwell today, puffy eye, bumped noggin and sore ear all unrelated, all in a week. Not good! RJ is well and snoring at the moment - due to wake any moment and I will be off again.
I am hiding from my masters, though it is staring me in the face, mocking me, begging for me to work on it, I foresee an all nighter on the horizon. WHY did I have to try and write 'literature' when popular fiction is so much more my style?! It is painful to try and do this, when I have just read the pile of shite that is the twilight phenomenon, the writing in that is really pretty shabby, yet she is rolling in it now. I could do that!!! Just need the discipline really.
My cough is getting better slowly, the sooner it is the sooner I can go visit Mum, hurrah!
J is good and working hard to keep the rest of us sane and well, poor bugger!
I feel lost.
